Originally posted at https://archiveofourown.org/works/42851391 if you hang there.
Summary:
“They say Nobody can kill Superman… They were right.”
Notes:
Hey. I’ve been going through some shit. Recently started seeing a therapist. She told me I should write about my feelings. Over the course of about a week, I ended up with a 200-page manuscript for a 60-page supervillain origin fan comic. I think it was effectively cathartic, and it ended up being (in my opinion) a decent story that someone might enjoy. Given that DC doesn’t take unsolicited submissions I figured I’d share it here.
Unless of course, you or someone you know has an in at DC and could send them a link. I’m kinda looking for a new job. Tell them they can email me at robert [at] heroes-comic.com if they want. I’d gladly sell out if I could get paid to play in their sandbox.
If you like this, you should come give me money on Patreon, so I don’t have to become a supervillain myself. https://www.patreon.com/robertllynch
Work Text:
Cover
Full page image. City, night. Low angle view of traditional brick building in Metropolis.
Billboard on top of a building shows silhouettes of JLA members in pose like JLA cartoon title screen with “Metropolis Thanks our Heroes” written across it.
Sign has an apparent noose hanging off side, tied off to the billboard above.
The building itself has crudely spray painted on it in an arc around the noose “NEVER MEET YOUR HEROES”
The scene together looks like clown or a smiley face with hanging noose as nose, curved text as a smile, settled between two windows forming eyes. One window has a plush Superman doll sitting in the corner.
The whole scene is illuminated in blue and red by an army of police cars and lights below.
Page 1
Panel 1
Top half. Residential scene, Saturday morning. Closeup of TV screen, 1980’s showing title as if the title screen of a cartoon: “Never Meet Your Heroes – By Robert L. Lynch”
Superman (off-page):
“Who… *urgh* Who are you…? Why would you…”
Panel 2
Inset. View from behind a white, brown-haired child (Mr. Nobody) watching TV, wearing Superman pajamas and eating licensed cereal.
(As general note, any time Mr. Nobody is shown, his face is obscured, either by a mask, back-lighting and shadows, or creative cropping. Occasionally visible are his eyes in close-ups, which are brown.)
Mr. Nobody (narrating):
“Who am I? I’m nobody really… Just a man who had heroes as kid. Heh, yeah, yeah, I know, everyone does. Me though, I’m a product of the 80s. While you and your superbuddies were busy pushing Soviet missiles into the sun for Regan, I was growing up on a steady diet of pop culture and the promise of a better future… I watched ’em all, my guy. SuperFriends, Justice League… You know who my favorite was?”
Panel 3
(Superman’s POV) On rooftop, dusk – Backlit view of adult version of the child above, holding a smoking gun. He stands on the ledge of the building overlooking the road, and the back of a billboard can be seen to his side. He wears a nondescript grey, mechanic-style utility uniform shirt, navy blue industrial dockers, dark brown work boots, and a full-face respirator mask.
Mr. Nobody:
“Why… It was you!”
Panel 4
Same shot as above, with focus on foreground. A hand emerging from the sleeve of a blue super-suit, is seen covered in blood.
Mr. Nobody:
“Superman!”
Panel 5
Extreme close up of Superman’s face (*see note), looking pained and terrified.
Nobody (out of panel):
“Champion of Truth, Justice, and the American Way!”
(As to not fuck with DC canon, we’ll state here that this is not DC Earth Prime Superman. This is separate carpool lane in the multiverse; let’s call it Earth-1985 if that’s not used yet.
This universe is nominally similar to DC Earth Prime, but somewhat more grounded in reality (as much as superheroes can be) and reflective of our own universe. Movies, comics, kid’s t-shirts, everything we have here all exists as merch that’s officially licensed and sold by JLA. For example, the 1980 movie “Superman II” exists in this universe, was Directed by Richard Lester, Richard Donner, and starred Gene Hackman, Christopher Reeve, Ned Beatty, and Jackie Cooper, just as in our world, however here, it’s based on actual events. It’s a bit different though, since it was made by people who don’t know his secret identity, but the basic plot beats are the same.
In this comic, Supes looks about like Kurt Russel aged ~60s, (reference Disney’s Sky High) or Kingdom Come Superman. More age lines on face, white hair at temples, etc.)
Page 2
Panel 1
Child Mr. Nobody in theater lobby, heading in with family. Movie posters in background includes “Superman Lives” starring Nic Cage; mugger in red hood(ie) is walking toward pair of rich-looking adults with a child leaving the theater.
Mr. Nobody (Narrating):
“I was your biggest fan. First in line to the movie, read every comic, bought every toy. Well, I tried to anyway… Never had a lot of money growing up. No orphan billionaire like some of your friends in the biz…”
Panel 2
Wider shot of Superman, hunched over in pain, right hand clutching his left knee, leaning against brick wall, surprised.
Superman:
“No… You don’t mean…”
Mr. Nobody:
“Oh, bat-for brains? You mean the poor little orphan heir to Wayne Industries? Oh, boo hoo, let me wipe up my tears with this giant fucking stack of cash…”
Panel 3
Shot reversed, you can see Mr. Nobody standing next to a stack of fireworks, looking over the night skyline of Metropolis. Daily Planet building across street.
Superman:
“How did you…”
Mr. Nobody:
“How did I know? How could anyone paying the slightest bit of attention not know? Suspicious masked vigilante routinely drops criminals off at the Gotham PD, and instead of arresting him for assault they put a personal fucking spot light up to invite him back? Next day, top two stories on the news are how Bruce Wayne donated enough to the benevolent fund to buy all the cops new body armor and which brainless celebrity slut he’s taking to the to the Policeman’s Ball. The news stories about the latest sighting your dark knight pal gets pushed back after Sports.”
Panel 4
Closeup of Mr. Nobody, all that is visible is his eyes, which are filled with rage.
Mr. Nobody:
“World has two sets of justice, Supes, one for rich assholes who can buy their way out of trouble and one for the people who’s only option for work is guarding a bank-robbing clown. I’d be surprised if the Batmobile doesn’t have a fucking FOP sticker on the back window.”
Page 3
Panel 1
Mr. Nobody, turned away from Superman, head in one hand. He stands next to a box labeled AlphaPyro Textual Explosion Firework, question mark (green)
Mr. Nobody
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap. Bruce is… Well, he’s part of the problem, but not really the main point…”
Panel 2
Inset – closeup of Superman’s eyes, looking down
Panel 3
Inset – Closeup of fireworks box
Panel 4
Closeup of Superman, looking up
Superman:
“Are you… the Riddler? One of his henchmen?”
Panel 5
Mr. Nobody from back, turned to face Superman.
Nobody:
“What…? Oh, because of the fireworks? Hah… Nah, man. I get stuck on sudoku, I can’t play on his level… But you can buy “WILL YOU MARRY ME?” fireworks online, and I figured a question mark in the sky was a quick way to get Bruce’s attention. If my information is correct, I light that and he should be here in… Oh, about 30 minutes or so, depending on air traffic from Gotham and how quick he hears about this.”
Page 4
Panel 1
Close-up of Superman’s leg. He has a bullet wound in his knee, with a green glow emanating from within.
Superman:
“What do you want…?”
Panel 2
Mr. Nobody, pointing gun at Superman.
Mr. Nobody:
“What I want is for you to let me finish my story. Got it? Now where was I…”
Panel 3
Mr. Nobody as kid in school, head down eating lunch alone, carrying a Superman lunch Box
Mr. Nobody (narrating):
“Right, not a lot of money as a kid. Had to move around a lot for my dad’s job. I was the weird kid who couldn’t make friends, and never bothered because I expected I’d have to move away again.”
Panel 4
School hallway with bulletin board in school advertising “meet Superman!” poster for event.
Mr. Nobody:
“When I was in third grade, you were going to come to my school. Supposed to be a big auditorium rally, huge special event before Christmas break. I was looking forward to that for months… Then I found out my dad’s job was making us move again at the end of the year. No big deal, It’s happened before, whatever. As long as I saw you before I left I was happy. But then you died. ’93 remember?”
Panel 5
Sad kid Mr. Nobody in empty bedroom with boxes.
Mr. Nobody:
“It was all over the news. Doomsday put you in the fucking ground. We mourned you. I obviously didn’t see you at the assembly. I left my school and had pizza for Christmas eve on the floor of an empty house.”
Panel 6
Closeup of child hand holding Superman action figure.
Mr. Nobody:
“Of course, you didn’t stay dead, and my old school rescheduled the assembly for the spring. Too late for me to see you, but you know, shit happens…”
Page 5
Panel 1
Back on the rooftop.
Superman:
“So it’s revenge? For not coming to your school?”
Mr. Nobody
“You really think I’m that petty? Dude, you know I can’t blame you for being dead.”
Panel 2
Nobody at college, practicing drawing in art class
Mr. Nobody (Narrating):
“Nah, I moved on. Went to college. I had a dream of being an artist for your comics, so I majored in art.”
Panel 3
Spread of papers across a desk; they are a combination of sketches of superheroes and rejection letters from comic publishers.
Mr. Nobody:
“That dream, like most, never came to fruition. Never was able to convince your publisher to hire me. Or any publisher for that matter.”
Panel 4-7
View from above textile screen print press.
(4) man putting shirt on platen (5) Putting screen down (6) Pulling squeegee (7) Lifting screen to show Superman’s logo on shirt
Mr. Nobody:
“I did end up in a job involving your art though…”
Page 6
Panel 1
Mr. Nobody, pulling open his buttoned shirt to reveal a well-worn Superman logo t-shirt
Mr. Nobody:
“You like? Been printing them almost a decade now.”
Panel 2
Superman, close up, angry.
Superman:
“Then… why do this? If I was your hero, what changed?”
Panel 3
Wider shot of both, now clearly visible that Superman is slumped against a wall, clutching his leg in a pool of blood.
Mr. Nobody:
“Nothing at all. That’s why I put a Kryptonite bullet in your knee and not your face.”
Panel 4
Closeup profile pic of Superman (Inset)
Mr. Nobody:
“I just wanted a chance to talk without you flying away.”
Panel 5
Superman:
“Well… I’m here now. So talk.”
Page 7
Panel 1
Mr. Nobody driving in his car, which looks as close to a green 2002 Ford Focus as possible without being sued by Ford. It’s not in great shape, and neither is it’s tired driver.
Mr. Nobody:
“Couple months ago, I was driving to work. The day before your pal Green Lantern was chasing some robots or something near the shop I worked in.”
Panel 2
Mr. Nobody in car (hitting pothole).
Mr. Nobody:
“Nothing big, but a few stray laser blasts left the road with more potholes than I remembered and I wound up with a flat tire.”
Panel 3
Mr. Nobody inspecting car.
Mr. Nobody:
“Good news was I knew how to change a flat. Bad news was I was already driving on my only spare.”
Panel 4
Closeup of note inside window “do not tow, car not abandoned; will return after work to pick up”
Mr. Nobody:
“Had to leave my car and walk three blocks to work. Got chewed out for being late, but whatever…”
Panel 5
Mr. Nobody changing tire.
Mr. Nobody:
“Dropped $200 on my lunch break to put a new tire on the rim, and came back that evening to put it on.”
Panel 6
Mr. Nobody starting engine.
Mr. Nobody:
“Pissed I had to pay that much, but glad my car was usable.”
Panel 7
Nobody looking concerned and engine noise very loud.
Mr. Nobody:
“Technically.”
Panel 8
View from under car of Mr. Nobody looking at cut exhaust pipe.
Mr. Nobody:
It was the second time in six months someone stole my catalytic converter. This time I didn’t bother to replace it.
Page 8
Panel 1
On rooftop again
Superman:
“So why me and not Green Lantern?”
Mr. Nobody:
“I’m getting to that.”
Panel 2
At bank, Mr. Nobody in line
Mr. Nobody (narrating):
“Following week I’m at the bank. Don’t know about your finances, but when you live paycheck to paycheck, a $200 car repair can be devastating.
Teller:
“Next”
Panel 3
Mr. Nobody talking to teller
Mr. Nobody:
“Is there any way you can get me an extension on my loan payment?”
Panel 4
Same view, figure appears behind Mr. Nobody.
Mr. Nobody:
“I know, it’s already past due, but …”
Panel 5
Same view, figure is now recognizable as a tough-looking thug in a clown mask with a shotgun
Teller:
“I’m sorry, but unfortunately our policies prohibit me from…”
Panel 6
Wider view of bank lobby, more men in clown masks with guns enter and shoot in air
Clown:
“ALRIGHT EVERYBODY! HANDS UP, HEADS DOWN!”
Page 9
Panel 1
Bank lobby. While one clown takes money from teller, another is going one by one through hostages kneeling in a line.
Clown (to old lady):
“Empty your purse bitch! Go on! And the pearls too, put ’em in the bag!”
Panel 2
Clown reaches Mr. Nobody
Clown (to Mr. Nobody):
“Alright, everything you got! In the bag now!”
Panel 3
Mr. Nobody pulls money out of wallet
Mr. Nobody:
“Uh… Here…”
Panel 4
Clown, looking at Mr. Nobody holding cash.
Clown:
“That’s it? Ha! Three fucking dollars?”
Panel 5
Mr. Nobody reaches in pocket
Panel 6
Mr. Nobody holds out change to Clown
Mr. Nobody:
“And twelve cents? Sorry, I just overdrafted my checking again, so that’s all I have, man.”
Panel 7
Clown looking at Mr. Nobody
Clown:
“Pfft… Pathetic.”
Panel 8
Clown walks away from Mr. Nobody without taking his money
Mr. Nobody:
“Sorry…”
Page 10
Panel 1
Roof
Superman:
“Yeah… I know about that. The Joker’s crew hit First Metro bank. Almost got away, too, until I stopped them.”
Panel 2
Mr. Nobody (close)
Mr. Nobody:
“Remember.. how you got ’em?”
Superman:
“Sure…”
Panel 3
Visual homage, reference to cover of Action Comics #1 with Superman holding up a green compact car (’02 Focus).
Superman (Narrating):
“They tried escaping in a school bus. I had to throw a car in their path to stop them.”
Panel 4
Over Superman’s shoulder view, having just thrown the green car. The roof of the car crumples into the front end of the bus. One notable detail visible on bottom of car is the exhaust line has been cut off just before the catalytic converter and is completely missing past that point, with only mounting brackets remaining.
Mr. Nobody (narrating):
“I bet you didn’t notice that car was missing a catalytic converter.”
Panel 5
Close up of Superman, surprised.
Panel 6
Close up of Superman, looking down.
Superman:
“I’m sorry.”
Mr. Nobody
“No worries. Just doing your job, right?”
Panel 7
Closeup of Mr. Nobody
Mr. Nobody:
“Most of the time insurance would cover that kinda shit. That is, if you can manage to pay them on time. The scrap value didn’t even cover half what was left of the loan.”
Page 11
Panel 1
Wide shot of roof
Mr. Nobody:
“No car meant no way to work. Boss fired me the third day I couldn’t find a ride.”
Panel 2
Closeup of Apartment Door W/ eviction notice.
Mr. Nobody (Narrating):
“I tried to find work… I really did… but after two weeks of looking for a job that was walking distance from my apartment, I came home to an eviction notice.”
Panel 3
Park, Day. Mr. Nobody sitting on a park bench outside with duffel bag, looking at phone. Nearby is a bronze statue of Superman holding a child in the center of a reflecting pool.
Mr. Nobody:
“No car. No job. No home. I started texting everyone I could think of that might be able to help. Most couldn’t do anything. A few offered “thoughts and prayers” for my situation. Somehow those felt more insulting than just telling me no.”
Panel 4
Same scene, night, Mr. Nobody’s phone rings.
Mr. Nobody:
“I was about an hour away from looking for a cardboard box to sleep in when I got a message from an old college friend who offered to let me crash on his couch.”
Panel 5
Inside Friend’s apartment. It’s a cheap mess, but livable.
Mr. Nobody
“The guy’s place was a disgusting rat hole in the worst part of town, but I convinced myself it was better than sleeping on a bench.”
Page 12
Panel 1
Apartment interior. Friend is cooking breakfast, while Mr. Nobody works on a laptop on the couch
Mr. Nobody (Narrating)
“About a week goes by… We get talking about work and how things have been going since college.
Panel 2
Mr. Nobody looking jobs on at laptop
Mr. Nobody:
“Dude, I never should have studied art. Can’t find anything in my field…”
Panel 3
Friend:
“You think you have it bad, I’m still paying for a philosophy degree.”
Panel 4
Mr. Nobody:
“At least you can pay on it… I still can’t even get an interview anywhere. I’m getting desperate too, man… I even applied as a line cook at Planet Krypton. You know what they told me? I’m overqualified.”
Panel 5
Friend:
“That’s bullshit, man. If you’re willing to do the job for what they pay, how is a college education going to change that?
Panel 6
Mr. Nobody:
“What about you? You never said where you were working now.”
Panel 7
Friend:
“Eh… Private security… Not really allowed to talk about it, you know how businesses are with NDAs…”
Panel 8
Mr. Nobody:
“Well if they’re willing to hire your ass, maybe you should give them my resume. Think they need someone with an art degree and custom apparel experience?”
Friend:
“Maybe, I don’t know… I can ask.”
Mr. Nobody:
“Could you? That’d be awesome.”
Page 13
Panel 1
Apartment interior. Mr. Nobody is asleep on couch, Friend enters from front door.
Mr. Nobody (Narrating):
“Didn’t think much about it, but a few days later my friend comes back with news”
Friend:
“Dude! Wake up! I got you an interview!”
Panel 2
Mr. Nobody, Groggy
Mr. Nobody:
“Huh…? Oh, wait, what? Really? That’s great!”
Panel 3
Friend, handing napkin to Mr. Nobody
Friend:
“Yeah, here, check this out.”
Panel 4
Close up of cocktail napkin embossed with the clown-head logo for “The Punch Line Bar & Comedy Club”
Friend:
“Dude’s real serious about security, so everything has to stay on the down low.” “Door opens at nine. Tell the guard at the door the pass phrase “I’m in on the joke” to get inside. Just go ask the bartender for a drink called “the Punchinello” and he’ll set you up.”
Panel 5
Mr. Nobody looking at napkin.
Mr. Nobody:
“Sweet, thanks man, this means a lot…”
Friend:
“Don’t mention it, just… Remember, keep it on the DL.”
Panel 6
Mr. Nobody pantomimes a “Lips are Zipped” motion along with a thumbs up.
Page 14
Panel 1
Mr. Nobody standing next to cab in run-down industrial district, night.
Mr. Nobody (Narrating):
“So here I was thinking things were finally turning around. I had an interview all lined up at this bar, recommendation from a current employee, what could go wrong? I cleaned myself up, put together the best business casual look I could, and headed over that evening, resume in hand.”
Panel 2
Close up of Mr. Nobody looking up at building worried
Mr. Nobody:
“Neighborhood looked a bit sketchy, but I’d been to worse dive bars.”
Panel 3
Mr. Nobody knocking metal door
Mr. Nobody:
“Address led to a warehouse. No signs, just the number on the door.”
Panel 4
Intercom panel buzzes.
Voice:
“What do you want?”
Panel 5
View from security room, over shoulder of two thugs watching security camera display.
Mr. Nobody:
“Uh, hi! I’m here for the job interview?”
Panel 6
Low view of thugs, lit by screen, smirking
Mr. Nobody:
“Oh, and uh, I’m in on the joke. If, uh… If you know what I mean.”
Panel 7
Outside door buzzes
Voice:
“Heh… Door’s unlocked, kid.”
Page 15
Panel 1
Inside industrial-looking bar. Mr. Nobody silhouetted in door frame of entryway
Mr. Nobody (narrating):
This bar looked like something out of an old cartoon.
Panel 2
Full view of establishment, as described, a stereotypical bad-guy bar, with a small stage at one end (Only one mic, set up for stand-up comedy) with the bar’s clown logo painted on the brick wall behind it. The scene is populated by a number of rough looking, but otherwise indiscriminate thugs.
Mr. Nobody:
“The place was comically gross. Practically a caricature of the “bad guy bars” you’d see in the Saturday morning specials.
Panel 3
Closer view of bar area, a few thugs sit at bar as Mr. Nobody approaches.
Mr. Nobody:
“I made my way to the counter as instructed and took a seat.”
Panel 4
Mr. Nobody sitting at bar, holding one finger up as the bartender is turned away.
Mr. Nobody:
“Excuse me, I…”
Panel 5
Same scene, Bartender walks away from Mr. Nobody, and one thug at bar looks at Mr. Nobody quizzically.
Mr. Nobody:
“Um….”
Panel 6
Same scene.
Thug:
“Hey… You look familiar…”
Panel 7
Same scene
Mr. Nobody:
“Um, well, I guess just have one of those faces, you know?
Page 16
Panel 1
Closeup on thug
Thug:
“Nah, that ain’t it… I could swear I’ve seen you somewhere…”
Panel 2
Mr. Nobody looking frightened.
Thug:
“Didn’t you used to work on Penguin’s crew?”
Mr. Nobody:
“Uh, no, I’ve, uh, mostly been working in the custom apparel industry…”
Panel 3
Mr. Nobody reaches up to tap the bartender on the shoulder.
Thug:
“Man, this is gonna bug me all day…”
Mr. Nobody (to bartender):
“Um, excuse me?
Panel 4
Bartender turns around, looking as angry and tough as any of the thugs in attendance.
Mr. Nobody:
“Uh, hi. I, uh…”
Panel 5
Bartender (close)
Bartender:
“Spit it out kid. What do you want?”
Panel 6
Wider shot of bar area
Mr. Nobody:
“Oh, uh, sorry, I’d like… a punchinello?”
Panel 7
Same view, but now all thugs have turned to look at Mr. Nobody. Record scratch moment if there’s a jukebox in the room.
Page 17
Panel 1
Bartender, close.
Bartender:
“A Punchinello? That’s a strong drink, kid. You sure about that?”
Panel 2
Mr. Nobody, nervous with several thugs surrounding him.
Mr. Nobody:
“Um yes? Please?”
Panel 3
Bartender, close.
Bartender:
“Heh.”
Panel 4
Wider shot of bar and patrons.
Bartender:
“You hear that? Kid says he wants a Punchinello! Let’s give it to him then…”
Panel 5
Side view of bartender punching Mr. Nobody hard in the face, knocking him back off the barstool with a comedic “Pow!” exclamation behind them.
Panel 6
Overhead view of Mr. Nobody, on floor. His resume rests beside him. One thug has covered Mr. Nobody’s head in a black bag.
Mr. Nobody (narrating):
“Half dozen thugs black bagged me and drug me out of the bar. And there I thought the worst thing that could happen in a job interview is to find out its multi-level marketing thing.”
Page 18
Panel 1
All black
Mr. Nobody (Narrating):
“They cuffed me, threw me in the trunk of a car and drove me somewhere else. No idea where, just know it was about a half hour drive from the bar.
Panel 2
All black
Mr. Nobody:
“After we stopped, they carried me inside a building and set me up in a chair before removing the bag.”
Panel 3
Blurry bright oval (Mr. Nobody POV opening eyes)
Woman’s voice:
“If you’ll have a seat, Mistah J will be with you shortly.”
Panel 4
Overhead view of mock office waiting room, made in a warehouse with free-standing stud walls finished on the inside only. Seated at a receptionist’s desk is a girl with pink and blue dyed hair in a red and white diamond-motif pantsuit, typing away at a computer. Handcuffed to one of the waiting room chairs, sits Mr. Nobody.
Mr. Nobody:
“Ah… fuck.”
Mr. Nobody (Narrating):
“I found myself in a makeshift office in a some kinda warehouse. I recognized the secretary from the news as one Harley Quinn. That’s when it hit me: I was in the Joker’s hideout. I should have figured it out sooner, but I was a little mentally burned out from the whole “looking for a job” thing.”
Panel 5
Harley at desk, speaking on a phone.
Harley:
“Your 9:30 is here, Puddin.”
Intercom:
“Wonderful! Send him in!”
Panel 6
Wide view of room from behind Harley. Her finger is on a large red button.
Harley:
“Mistah J will see you now!”
Panel 7
Inset – Closeup of Harley pressing a big red button.
Panel 8
3/4 overhead view of Mr. Nobody, as a trap door under his chair opens and he and the chair falls through.
Page 19
Panel 1
Front-on view of the Joker sitting at a desk. Definitely a Mark Hamill type Joker, more creepy clown and less meth-addicted psychopath. The Joker is dressed in a purple hexagonal print short-sleeve button down shirt, a green tie, and a thick-framed pair of Clark-Kent-style glasses with the lenses popped out. He is flanked on either side by two heavy thug bodyguards, one of whom is the same thug who recognized Mr. Nobody earlier. A metal trash chute at the side empties the bound Mr. Nobody in front of the desk.
Panel 2
Mr. Nobody comes to a rest on his side, facing the Joker.
Joker:
“Ah! Welcome, welcome, I trust you found the place ok?”
Mr. Nobody (Narrating):
“I was terrified. Tied up and staring down the clown prince of crime himself. The logical faculties of my brain froze up and I reverted to job interview mode.”
Panel 3
Mr. Nobody, on his side
Mr. Nobody:
“Uh, yeah, yeah, it’s was pretty easy to get to. Right off the highway.”
Panel 4
Joker (close)
Joker:
“That’s great. I’ve been looking at your resume here, an I must say, I’m not very impressed with your qualifications…”
Panel 5
Joker, holding Mr. Nobody’s resume, adjusting his glasses.
Joker:
“An art degree and ten years printing t-shirts isn’t generally the type of background we look for here. If you don’t mind, what exactly inspired you to seek employment within our organization?”
Panel 6
Mr. Nobody:
“Oh, you know… Job market these days… Can’t always find work in your field. Gotta go on every interview you can get… Heh heh…”
Panel 7
Joker:
“Ha! Ain’t that the truth. Well then, on to the real, *important* questions. Let’s start with the basics, shall we?”
Panel 8
Mr. Nobody:
“Sure, shoot. Um… I mean, uh… please don’t actually shoot me… I just meant that I’d be happy to answer any questions you might have.”
Page 20
Grid of 4×3 panels, all closeups of Joker and Mr. Nobody speaking from off panel (below).
Panel 1
Joker:
“Great! Firstly, if you could be any animal, what kind of animal would you be and why?”
Panel 2
Mr. Nobody:
“Uh, maybe like an eagle? I’ve always wanted to be able to fly.”
Panel 3
Joker:
“Why are manhole covers round?”
Panel 4
Mr. Nobody:
“I think I heard somewhere it’s so the they can’t fall in the hole?”
Panel 5
Joker:
“Hmm… Interesting… How many balloons would fit in this room?”
Panel 6
Mr. Nobody:
“Uh… Regular party balloon size? Maybe a few thousand if they’re blown up… But if you’re talking packages on pallets or parade pieces full of gas I’d need to look it up.”
Panel 7
Joker:
“What two things, aside from food and water, would you want on a deserted island?
Panel 8
Mr. Nobody:
“Uh, well, probably a boat and a GPS map.”
Panel 9
Joker:
“Ah, very practical… What’s your go-to karaoke song, and why?”
Panel 10
Mr. Nobody:
Hmm, Uh… I dunno… I usually say “Mr. Brightside”, but I’ve had “Good as Hell” stuck in my head for the last two days.
Panel 11
Joker (to henchman):
“Oh, I do love Lizzo… don’t you?
Henchman:
“Uh, yeah, sure boss, Juice is one of my daughter’s favorite songs.”
Joker:
“She’s always so confident, so unafraid of being herself. Very good choice.
What would you do if you won the lottery?”
Panel 12
Mr. Nobody:
“Go to a dentist…”
Page 21
Panel 1
Wider view of room. Joker pointing back with his thumb toward one of his henchmen.
Joker:
“Hm… Heh. He he ha ha ha! A dentist! Ha! You make me laugh kid, I’ll give you that. Hmm… Well, you’re certainly not what I was expecting… But I must say, intellectually, you’re leagues above ahead of these creatine-crunching cretins.”
Panel 2
View of two bodyguards; Focus on thug pointed at.
Thug 1 (quietly to other thug):
“Was that an insult?”
Thug 2:
“Probably.”
Panel 3
Joker (close)
Joker:
“Hm.. Ha! It’s funny, but I don’t know what to do with you! Ha ha! You’re really overqualified compared to most, erm, heh heh, ‘applicants’.
Panel 4
Mr. Nobody (close)
Mr. Nobody:
“What’s funny is you’re the fifth person to tell me that this month.”
Panel 5
Wider shot of Mr. Nobody, from behind Joker.
Joker:
“Ha! Ha ha! You’re a laugh riot, kid. But from where I’m sittin’ you’re starting to look like a real joke. LAST QUESTION!: Tell me why I shouldn’t chop you up right now and feed you to Harley’s dogs?”
Mr. Nobody:
“Look, um, I think I may have misunderstood the nature of this, uh… position. I thought you were looking for design layouts for menus or like an audio guy for the stage… I’m, uh… I’m really sorry, but I don’t think I…”
Panel 6
Close-up of thug who recognized Mr. Nobody earlier
Thug 1:
“Oh! I got it! I figured out where I know you from! Dude! This is Three-Twelve!”
Panel 7
Wide shot
Thug 2:
No way, really? Ha! Small world… Yeah, this guy’s a waste of time, boss.”
Joker:
Three… Twelve? Is that a gang or something? Should I know who this is?
Thug 1:
“Nah. He’s nobody. Hostage from the last bank job. He’s just some loser too pathetic to steal from.”
Page 22
Panel 1
Overhead.
Mr. Nobody:
“Oh… yeah… Heh… yeah, that’s… That’s me. Oh, right, Three-Twelve, because of the, uh, the money, that makes sense… You, uh… you have a good memory there; I don’t remember your face at all. Of course you were wearing masks at the time, which I suppose was the point…
Um, You know, I can very easily forget faces… If you uh, just, maybe, don’t kill me? I’m sure I’ll probably forget all about this whole place.”
Panel 2
Joker (close)
Joker:
“Kill you? In a job interview? Ha ha ha ha ha! Don’t be silly, If I did something like that, word would get around the underworld networking circles and I’d never be able be able to find good help again.”
Panel 3
Wider view of desk
Joker:
“Now about that position… I’m sorry, but unfortunately, while your education is admirable and your portfolio quite impressive, I don’t think your experience is a good match for the needs of our organization at present.”
Panel 4
Inset – closeup of Joker, pressing a button on his desk with a buzz.
Panel 5
Another trap door opens below Mr. Nobody, who falls through again.
Panel 6
Basement parking garage, an open-top trash truck sits center frame.
Panel 7
Same scene. Mr. Nobody, still in chair, falls into back of truck.
Page 23
Panel 1
Gotham city dump, night. Truck from before driving in.
Panel 2
Truck, dumping trash and Mr. Nobody.
Panel 3
Pile of trash, Harley Quinn enters from outside frame, visible from about thighs up.
Panel 4
Harley bends over reaching out of frame below.
Panel 5
Harley picks up and sets chair and Mr. Nobody upright. He is covered in trash (Banana peel on head?)
Panel 6
Harley leaning over, kissing Mr. Nobody on cheek as she unlocks his handcuffs.
Harley:
“*Mwah* Sorry, babe.”
Panel 7
Truck driving away, Joker at the wheel.
Joker:
“Thank you so much for your interest in joining our team and taking the time to interview! If you qualify in the future, please feel free to apply for other open positions with our organization. Myaa Haa Ha ha ha ha ha!
Page 24
Panel 1
Apartment exterior, dawn, Mr. Nobody walks up.
Mr. Nobody (narrating):
“Had a nice long walk on my way home. Gave me a lot of time to think.”
Panel 2
Apartment interior, dark
Mr. Nobody (Narrating):
“Couldn’t get a “real” job because I didn’t have enough experience… Couldn’t get an “unskilled” job because I was overqualified… I couldn’t even convince a criminal to give me a chance as a lackey. In a society that prizes financial success above all things, a man’s identity is intrinsically linked to both his professions and his possessions. As a penniless, jobless failure, who was I in a society like this? I’m nobody.”
Panel 3
Inset – closeup on door handle jiggling
Panel 4
Inset – Door handle turning
Panel 5
Inset – open door with Mr. Nobody silhouette
Panel 6
POV of Mr. Nobody, sees Friend in Wonder Woman logo-patterned boxer shorts turning on light with one hand and pointing a submachine gun at the entry with the other.
Friend:
“YOU PICKED THE WRONG DOOR MOTHERFUCKER!”
Mr. Nobody:
“AAAAHHHH! Fuck! Don’t shoot! It’s me!”
Panel 7
Mr. Nobody:
“What the fuck, man, you could have killed me!”
Friend (relieved):
“Ah, shit, dude, god damn… You scared the shit out of me! What time is it?”
Panel 8
Mr. Nobody:
“I don’t know, my phone died hours ago… Like… Five?”
Panel 9
Friend:
“In the morning?! Shit dude…”
Page 25
Panel 1
Apartment interior, wider view
Friend:
“Ah, fuck, what about the interview? How’d it go? You’re not dead, so that’s good!” Why do you smell like garbage?”
Mr. Nobody:
“Because I was riding in the back of the Joker’s garbage truck… And then I walked here… from the dump…”
Panel 2
Mr. Nobody (close)
Mr. Nobody:
“Which, by the way, THE JOKER?!
Panel 3
Friend:
“I know! Cool, right?”
Panel 4
Mr. Nobody:
“NO! It’s not cool! I don’t want start an “exciting career in henching”!”
Panel 5
Friend:
“You sure? I threw a fucking pie in the mayors face last week. I was on the news, it was awesome!
Panel 6
Mr. Nobody:
“No, dude, fuck off, seriously!”
Panel 7
Mr. Nobody, face in hand frustrated.
Panel 8
Friend (lean-in):
“So, did you get the job?”
Panel 9
Mr. Nobody, face in hand frustrated, friend looking excitedly.
Panel 10
Mr. Nobody:
“Ugh… No. He said I was overqualified.”
Friend:
“Fuck.”
Page 26
Panel 1
Friend:
“So what are you gonna do, man?”
Mr. Nobody:
“I don’t know. I mean… You know anyone who buys kidneys?”
Panel 2
Friend:
“You want an honest answer? Because I know a guy who occasionally moves dry ice from Mr Freeze, I could ask around…”
Mr. Nobody (leaving frame):
“No, dude, no… That was sarcasm, Jesus fucking Christ…”
Panel 3
Mr. Nobody collapsing face first on couch
Mr. Nobody:
*oof…*
Panel 4
Friend, reaching for Mr. Nobody’s feet
Friend:
“Hey man, here, let me get those shoes off you”
Panel 5
Mr. Nobody, face in couch:
“Thanks…
Ugh… I don’t know what I ‘m going to do… I can’t get a good job… Can’t get a shit job… Can’t even get a criminal job.”
Friend:
“You ever think about, you know… Freelance work?”
Panel 6
Mr. Nobody laying on side
Mr. Nobody:
“Dude I gave up on that a while ago, gig economy hit artists hard. Anyone with an iPhone thinks they can be a photographer and anyone with a stylus thinks they can be an artist, so the market is flooded with lowest bidders willing to do everything for pennies. And with the internet putting the world at each others fingertips, I can’t compete with some 12-year old Indian kid running a bootleg copy of Photoshop.”
Panel 7
Friend:
“Aw, that sucks, bro… but I didn’t mean like, graphic design shit, I mean like *freelance* freelance, you know? You need some money? Just steal it! Come to the dark side, man! Prove yourself on the streets, knock over a few liquor stores, take an old lady’s purse, you know. Reputation is everything in this town. Build a good one and you can all the get respect and power you want. Do something big enough and you might be the one hiring the Joker next time.”
Page 27
Panel 1
Mr. Nobody from above
Mr. Nobody:
“I don’t want a reputation, man, I just want to make art and pay for food. I don’t want to be a superhero *or* a supervillain. I just want to relax for once and not have to choose between groceries and rent.”
Friend:
“Well, if you want to be a nobody, just keep doing what you’re doing. Find a job where you can be just another a cog in the system. The second you break they’ll replace you again.”
Panel 2
Friend walks away toward kitchen.
Friend:
“Dude, tell you what, you just chill, take a shower, I have some leftover pizza in the fridge, eat that then get some…”
Panel 3
Mr. Nobody is passed out asleep on the couch, snoring
Friend:
“…Sleep?”
Panel 4
Back to rooftop, night, Superman still slumped against wall, Mr. Nobody sitting on crate nearby.
Superman:
“So you changed your mind about killing your hero? Is this your big score? Taking down the last son of Krypton?”
Mr. Nobody:
“Sigh… Have you been listening at all? No. I don’t want you dead. I’ve seen what happens when you die and it’s a whole inconvenient ordeal. No, You need to stay alive so you can pass along a little message for me. I went to a lot of trouble to set this all up, if nobody knows about it then it’s all pointless and I blew a lot of cash on fireworks for nothing.”
Panel 5
Apartment interior, afternoon, Mr. Nobody working on laptop next to fast food tacos.
Mr. Nobody (Narrating):
“I slept for almost 12 hours. My friend brought me tacos for breakfast/dinner. A little later in the day than usual, but once I could read a screen again, I did my routine check of the job boards to be sure nothing worth applying to came up. Of course there wasn’t, but I did see a Daily Planet article shared on my newsfeed about a “daring daylight robbery” of a museum in Spain.”
Panel 6
Youtube video of a reporter in Spain interviewing a guard.
Guard:
“Realmente no sé cómo se veía, porque realmente no pensé en lucir…”
(Subtitle on screen: I don’t really know what he looked like, because I didn’t really think to look…)
Panel 7
Video continues, shows museum inside with cops
VO:
“Security video from that evening showed two men dressed as maintenance workers, pushing mop buckets through the service entry.”
Panel 8:
Closeup of Mr. Nobody’s eyes, looking at screen.
VO:
“They didn’t look suspicious” one guard said. “I honestly assumed they were supposed to be here.”
Page 28
Panel 1
Roof night, Mr. Nobody (close)
Mr. Nobody:
“You know what humanity’s deepest flaw is?”
Superman:
“What do you want me to say…? Greed?”
Mr. Nobody:
“No… I mean, well, yeah, sure, that’s kinda mixed in there too, but… No, what I realized while I was walking back to my friend’s apartment is a simple truth that had been there all along.”
Panel 2
Mr. Nobody walking down street at night, underneath a bridge or highway or something. Several homeless people are camped under the structure, while Wayne Industries tower looms in the background
Mr. Nobody (Narrating):
“In college, I worked part time as a janitor, and you’d be amazed at how much stuff can go unnoticed and uncleaned without complaint. It’s one of those things you train yourself to do as an artist. You really need to pay attention to detail. People don’t notice when you draw a hand well, but they’ll call you out real quick if the proportions are off. Humanity’s greatest flaw is that the vast majority are totally willing to ignore anything they think doesn’t directly affect them. No matter how bad it is, no matter how much pain another person is in because of it, they are content to keep their head down and eyes closed as long as they and theirs have a warm bed and a full belly. How many homeless people do you think the Batmobile has driven past without a second thought?”
Panel 3
Back on rooftop, Mr. Nobody, close.
Mr. Nobody:
“That news story gave me an idea. What if, instead of trying to climb the corporate ladder or get my name on a statue, I go the opposite way. Disappear completely. If I can’t get someone to notice me. I might as well become a ghost. In essence… become Mr. Nobody.
Panel 4
Gotham downtown, Day. Mr. Nobody, sits on ground in front of Wayne Industries building with sign.
Space around window ledges covered in anti-homeless spikes.
Mr. Nobody (Narrating):
“I had to test my theory first, so I set up an experiment. I threw on some dirty clothes and wrote up a sign on the back of a pizza box: “homeless, anything helps, god bless” in big bold permanent marker.”
Panel 5
Closeup of nobody with sign
Mr. Nobody:
“First attempt results were…”
Panel 6
Same shot, legs of two men in suits confronting
Mr. Nobody:
“…Very informative.”
Panel 7
(Mr. Nobody POV) Low view of heavy security guys, in dark sunglasses with a radio earpiece. Both look angry. Both wear clearly visible “Wayne Industries” badges. One is pointing to a sign on wall that reads “No loitering, soliciting, panhandling”
Guard 1:
“Sir I’m going to have to ask you to leave the premises.”
Guard 2:
“We’d ask that you cooperate peacefully. Don’t force us to escalate this situation.”
Page 29
Panel 1
Mr. Nobody standing up.
Mr. Nobody:
“Oh, shit, sorry, guys, didn’t see that, my bad.”
Panel 2
Mr. Nobody walking away.
Mr. Nobody:
“I’ll just go hang out somewhere else, you two have a nice day.”
Panel 3
Close-up of Mr. Nobody walking away with guards behind him.
Mr. Nobody:
“If you see Mr. Wayne, tell him I’m a big fan. Always wearing the sharpest suits and driving the coolest cars…”
Panel 4
View of guards with Mr. Nobody walking away in the distance.
Guard:
“Huh… Weirdo, that one.”
Panel 5:
Back on rooftop, Mr. Nobody and Superman together.
Mr. Nobody:
“Total experiment time was about 90 minutes between when I sat down and when I was kicked out. At first I tried keeping count of total number of people who passed by, but lost track in the three hundreds. Averaged a few minute counts though and figured it to be around 13,000 people that walked by in that time. Out of that, you want to take a guess how many people stopped and gave change?
Panel 6:
Mr. Nobody, Close
Mr. Nobody:
“Six. Six out of 13,000. About 0.05% of those who walked by noticed someone was in need and offered to do anything about it. Grand total of $26.50, plus a coupon for a free milkshake. You see, people *expect* to see homeless folks downtown. They don’t even think about it. For 99.95% of the good citizens of Gotham, I was no different than a trash can.
Although, not counting the milkshake, it was still more than I got paid per hour printing shirts.”
Page 30
Panel 1
Rooftop, Wide from above. Pool of blood Superman is in has gotten bigger. A rope can be seen coiled on ground nearby.
Mr. Nobody:
“Hey, you’re not looking too hot… I guess the blood loss will do that…”
Panel 2
Mr. Nobody, holding rope, standing above Superman.
Mr. Nobody:
“Here, I took some first aid classes, let me tie that off for you…”
Panel 3
Superman, full body, with Mr. Nobody sitting on crate next to him.
Superman:
“…Thanks.”
Panel 4
Mr. Nobody, close
Mr. Nobody:
“Yea, no worries, man. Like I said, I’m not trying to kill you.” So where was I…
Panel 5
View of couch in apartment, with several uniforms spread across back.
Mr. Nobody (Narrating):
“Right… so I ran a few more experiments. Panhandled a bit more in a less hostile location. Went to some thrift stores and bought some old uniform shirts, medical scrubs, safety vests, that kinda thing. Ordered some lock picks online and taught myself how to use them. First big success though? Made the local news with that.”
Panel 6
White panel van pulling up to outside of store with vending machines.
Mr. Nobody (narrating):
“I snagged an old Pepsi driver’s uniform, and rented a plain white box truck.”
Panel 7
Man in uniform standing in front of open machine. Kids approach.
Mr. Nobody:
“Drove all over the city, stopping at drink machines, popping the locks and pulling all the cash inside.”
Panel 8
Same shot, Mr. Nobody handing kids free soda.
Mr. Nobody:
“Since I looked like that’s what what I should be doing, nobody stopped me. Took in more in one day than I earned legitimately in the last 6 months in the workforce.”
Page 31
Panel 1
Superman, close
Superman surprised:
“You… You’re the Sweet-Tooth Bandit? Police never found him…”
Panel 2
Mr. Nobody, close:
Mr. Nobody:
“Yeah, that was me… Ugh, that nickname is ridiculous… But that’s the point, you see? They never found me because they didn’t even know who to look for. What I learned from all these “experiments” was that I could take whatever I want, do whatever I wanted, as long as I stay in the background and never upset the expectations of those around me.”
Panel 3
Mr. Nobody & Superman
Mr. Nobody:
“It really shifted my perspective on things… Why should I bust my ass for slave wages, to buy overpriced food from other slave masters, who only got rich by birth lottery or by exploiting workers for decades? I realized I didn’t need to be rich. A company-branded polo shirt, clipboard, and a little confidence can get you most anything you need. In chain places, hourly workers don’t get paid enough to care and owners budget for a percentage of spoilage they can write off. Anything they’d miss is insured.”
Panel 4
At grocery store, Mr. Nobody, pushing dolly out front.
Mr. Nobody (to store clerk):
“Yeah, I’m pissed too, corporate has me all over pulling stock. I don’t know if it’s recalled or discontinued or what, they just tell me to grab it.”
Panel 5
At construction site. Mr. Nobody in orange vest & hard hat talking to a construction worker beside company truck.
Mr. Nobody:
“Hey, man, boss just called. Needs this truck at another jobsite, ASAP. Keys inside?”
Worker:
“Yeah, should be. Careful, that one gets squirrelly above 60.”
Mr. Nobody:
“Keep it off the highway, got it. Thanks!”
Panel 6
Mr. Nobody, driving truck, with several cases of soda in the front seat. One is opened and Mr. Nobody is drinking a can.
Mr. Nobody (narrating):
“For the first time in my life I felt free. I used to think the only way I’d be free is if I made more money, but it always seemed like the more money I had, the more I had to pay for. I was trapped by my belief that enough of the system worked the way it was advertised that with enough determination I could be successful inside that system.
Well, that system failed me. Time and time again. I knew well beforehand that the system was broken, but it finally dawned on me that if I wanted to be free and meet my own needs, I’d have to go outside that system, and exploit that system’s flaws from the outside.”
Page 32
Panel 1
Rooftop
Superman:
“So why do this? Why not just become that nobody and disappear?”
Mr. Nobody:
“Knowing all this? After seeing how many people are still desperately stuck in the same cycle of dependence and abuse from the systems they are trapped in? No, I couldn’t disappear just yet. Needed to do one last thing. The public needs a wake-up call. They won’t listen to me… But you… Oh, you… They’ll hang on your every word. Need you to be my messenger in this.”
Panel 2
Metropolis, Day. Low angle view looking up at skyscraper – Mr. Nobody stands in front of Daily Planet building.
Mr. Nobody (narrating):
“Plan came together pretty easy, all things considered. Set my affairs in order back in Gotham, got a bus ticket to Metropolis, and got to work looking into the systems in play here. Took my time, went to the library, did my research. You know how much publicly available information is just laying out there waiting for someone to notice? Property deeds. Arrest records. Newspaper articles. Court filings. It’s all out there, if you’re willing to look, and able to spot the patterns among the noise.”
Panel 3
Rooftop night mid shot of both.
Mr. Nobody:
“So how does one take down a living god? Public knowledge: You are powered by the yellow sun and lose your powers in the presence of Kryptonite. Also public knowledge: Kryptonite is so rare, that makes it all but impossible to get your hands on.”
Panel 4
Library, interior. Mr. Nobody sits at a computer. Dots on a US map cluster around rural Kansas.
Mr. Nobody:
“But you dig a little deeper you can find out all sorts of interesting info. Kryptonite is rare on Earth because it’s not from Earth, it’s all irradiated bits of your home planet, so it only ever shows up in meteorites. Of course, meteors can fall anywhere in the world, but the largest single concentration of kryptonite-containing samples came from a meteor shower that occurred about 60 years ago outside a little farm town in Kansas called Smallville. Almost 50% of all Kryptonite that’s accounted for came from that one event. Pretty odd, huh?”
Panel 5
Mr. Nobody in Library, closeup of eyes with screen illuminating
Mr. Nobody:
“Looked into it a bit further. Outside of the government and JLA, there’s only a handful of private entities known to have an interest in the stuff. Bat Boy at Wayne Industries has a few pieces, Queen Industries and S.T.A.R. Labs a bit less. Biggest private holder though? Some company I never heard of, AJL holdings group.”
Panel 6
Mr. Nobody, in queue at gov’t office.
Mr. Nobo dy:
“Couldn’t really find anything about it. No website, no location, no Better Business Bureau report, nothing. Had to physically go to the office of the Secretary of State, and speak with someone in the Department of Corporations, just to get the address listed on the incorporation forms. Care to guess who AJL holdings actually is?”
Panel 7
Rooftop
Superman:
“LexCorp?”
Mr. Nobody:
“Bingo. Wholly owned subsidiary. Alexander Joseph Luthor: AJL. Best guess is it’s one of likely dozens of shell companies Lex runs his more questionable business practices through. Made sense though. Who else would have the resources and motive to hoard that much kryptonite? Had to be someone with comically large bags of cash and a huge grudge against you. Knew if I was going to get to you, Lex was the fastest route.”
Page 33
Panel 1
Interior, lobby LexCorp HQ: There’s a very Trumpian Lex Luthor themed gift shop, along with a LexGrille and a LexCafe.
Mr. Nobody (Narrating):
“So here it is, the complete idiot’s guide to taking down Superman in one week: Step one: Preliminary Recon. I took a day to do the tourist trap stuff here in town. See the sights, snap some pics. Went to LexCorp HQ. Had a pretty decent, if overpriced lunch and people-watched for a bit. Dude’s an egocentric prick, but I’ll hand it to him, his folks can make some mean BBQ pulled pork.”
Panel 2
Overhead, table at LexGrille, Half eaten BBQ Pork on plate with steak fries. Cellphone shows gallery photos of LexCorp janitor. Open notebook shows rough floorplan sketch of first floor, with notes on locations of janitors closets, bathrooms, security posts, and keypad combinations.
Mr. Nobody:
“Took the Lex museum tour, saw the view from the skydeck, all very lovely. Easy enough while snapping photos to get a few clear images of janitors, guards, that sort of thing. Physical security, at least in publicly accessible areas, was surprisingly lax. All I had to do was look over a few shoulders at the right time and I got myself codes for most non-biometric keypad locks in the building. They use the same codes all over the minimally-secured areas of the building to make it easy for staff: Every security office is “SAFE”: 7-2-3-3 Every mechanical room is “PIPE”: 7-4-7-3 Every IT room is “WIRE”: 9-4-7-3 Every janitor’s closet is “CLEN”: 2-5-3-6 With just a tiny bit of knowledge and a few commercial uniforms, I had instant access to 95% of the building.”
Panel 3
Hotel room, Day. Mr. Nobody sitting on bed using sewing machine.
Mr. Nobody:
“Those uniforms were Step 2. Navy blue khakis, check. Navy blue uniform top, check. Navy blue cap, check. Sew on a LexCorp logo and use little photoshop magic for a fake employee ID and I’m invisible as Wonder Woman’s jet. Place that big it’s impossible for everyone to know everybody…
Anyone says, “hey, you’re not the usual guy who empties my trash” you can hit ’em back with “I usually work a few floors down” and they’ll always buy it.”
Panel 4
Busy office hallway. Mr. Nobody, dressed as janitor, pushes mop bucket down hall.
Mr. Nobody:
“Step 3: Advanced recon. For three days I snuck in and out of LexCorp HQ completely unnoticed. Looked at internal documents, monitored VIPs, dug through the trash, the whole nine yards. Found reams of info I’m happy to hold on to, but the one most useful bit I learned was how Mr. Luthor likes his coffee.”
Panel 5
Rooftop
Mr. Nobody:
“Very particular about it. Kona dark red eye. Has to be 100% dark roast Hawaiian Kona coffee with a shot of espresso. He drinks three cups every morning in his office alone while checking email and such. Requires his assistants to deliver it to his desk at exactly 9:00, 9:15, and 9:30. You can set your clock by it. Naturally, that kind of coffee habit puts your digestive system on a strict schedule as well. Something else you can set your clock by? Lex’s 10:00 bathroom break. The fourth day I was on site I saw my chance and took it.”
Panel 6
Office hallway, focus on Lex entering door labeled “Gentlemen’s Executive Washroom”. He has a magazine under one arm.
Mr. Nobody (narrating):
“Step 4: Make a contact on the inside.”
Panel 7
Same shot, with Mr. Nobody, dressed as janitor, pushing housekeeping cart into bathroom. The cart has at least two brooms poking out of the top.
Panel 8
Same shot, Mr. Nobody’s arm reaches out of door to prop up a “Restroom Closed for Cleaning” sign in hall.
Page 34
Panel 1
Establishing shot of bathroom interior, very classy, but conventional American public restroom with partition stalls. Visible under one door is Lex’s feet. Mr. Nobody pushes janitor cart in door.
Mr. Nobody:
“Housekeeping!”
Panel 2
Overhead view of bathroom. Lex is holding magazine and Mr. Nobody is holding two brooms, and bent over looking under the stalls.
Lex:
“Someone’s in here!”
Panel 3
Lex (close). Magazine he’s reading is some celebrity gossip rag with an article about Bruce Wayne featured alongside something like “10 easy tips to lose 20 lbs before summer”
Lex:
“Hello? Did you hear me? Ocupado por favor?”
Panel 4
Overhead view of Lex, focus on legs. Two broom handles are pushed under the door with a “shlink” kinda noise or something. They cross over each other in an X, over Lex’s pants, and under his legs, pinning him to the toilet.
Panel 5
Lex, Close, confused
Lex:
“What in the…”
Panel 6
In front of stalls. Mr. Nobody is standing on the broom handles, arms crossed, leaning against the stall door, and holding the brooms to the floor.
Lex:
“Urg… God damn… FUCK! YOU INSUBORDINATE…! URG… AS SOON AS I’M OUT OF HERE YOU ARE FIRED! YOU UNDERSTAND?! WHO IS YOUR SUPERVISOR?!”
Page 35
Panel 1
Mr. Nobody, side profile.
Mr. Nobody:
“Uh, well, my last boss was a guy named Dave, but I doubt you know him. See, I don’t really work here. I’m, uh… kinda between jobs at the moment.”
Panel 2
Wider view of stalls. Mr. Nobody has head turned back to talk.
Lex
“Huh? Fuck this. I’m calling security. Leave now or be carried out.”
Mr. Nobody:
“Best of luck, I haven’t been able to get a cell signal in here this far from a window.
Lex
“Then I’ll fucking Skype security on the building’s WiFi! Wait… Why is this…”
Mr. Nobody:
“Oh, yeah, I was going to mention that while I got you here… Someone should call IT, I think you need to reset the router on this floor.”
Panel 3
Outside of bathroom
Lex (shouting from inside):
“FUCK!”
Panel 4
Lex, close up, looks pissed.
Lex:
“Alright, who the fuck are you and what do you want?”
Panel 5
Bathroom
Mr. Nobody:
“Just came to ask a favor. Need a Kryptonite bullet.”
Panel 6
Lex, close
Lex:
“Go fuck yourself. “Even if I had something like that, I don’t do “favors”, and that’s a big one. Why should I help you?”
Panel 7
Rooftop present, Mr. Nobody & wounded Superman
Mr. Nobody:
“And what I did I offer him? What could a nobody like me offer one of the richest men in the world?
Superman:
“What did you say?”
Mr. Nobody:
I’ll tell you exactly what I told him.
Page 36
Panel 1
Rooftop, Mr. Nobody, mid view
Mr. Nobody:
“I don’t have any superpowers. I don’t have the money to buy armor or gadgets… I’m just a guy who’s been shit on and beaten up by the system his whole life. I’m just a guy who feels like he’s been screaming into the night for help for years on end and nobody with the power to change anything has ever once stopped to listen, let alone provide aid. So I’m going to drag the most powerful man in the world down into the gutter with me and make him listen.”
Panel 2
Bathroom, inner, in front of stalls
Mr. Nobody:
“Look, Lex, You’re a smart guy, right? I got to you. Here. Got you alone and trapped in your own shitter. You know I can get close enough to Big Blue to do what I’m planning. I promise I can pay you back tenfold when I’m done.”
Panel 3
Bathroom overhead shot establishing a pause. (Faucet drip?)
Panel 4
Mr. Nobody, close
Mr. Nobody:
“So?”
Panel 5
Rooftop
Superman:
“So? How did he respond?”
Panel 6
Bathroom, interior. Lex close up.
Lex:
“What caliber would you prefer?”
Page 37
Panel 1
Rooftop (Wide)
Mr. Nobody:
“We chatted a bit more to work out the details, logistics, that sort of thing. We set up a dead drop on another floor of the building that afternoon.”
Panel 2
Office copy room, Mr. Nobody enters in janitor outfit. Worker is standing at copy machine.
Panel 3
Mr. Nobody pulls trash can liner from bin by machines
Worker:
“Oh, hey there! Haven’t seen your face around these parts before! You new?”
Mr. Nobody:
“Oh, uh, no, I’m just filling in today. I usually work a few floors down.”
Worker
“Oh, was this the week Gary’s on vacation? I thought that was next week…”
Panel 4
Same shot, Mr. Nobody tying trash bag. Worker leaves with copies.
Worker:
“Oh well, whatever, thanks for covering, it’s really appreciated. Have a nice day!”
Mr. Nobody:
“Yeah, thanks, you too!”
Panel 5
Inside janitor’s closet, Mr. Nobody reaching in trash bag
Mr. Nobody (narrating):
“Worried at first it was a trap, but Lex came through.”
Panel 6
Open box, sitting on pile of trash. Inside is single bullet packed in foam, with a diagram of the bullet on the inside of the lid. The bullet cutaway shows what looks like a FMJ round, with a green core, coated in lead & copper
Note on diagram calls out the lead coating, specifically citing Superman’s limitation on X-ray vision.
Mr. Nobody:
“Looked like a normal bullet, but guaranteed to clip any Kryptonian’s wings.”
Page 38
Panel 1
Rooftop Mid view of Mr. Nobody and Superman.
Mr. Nobody:
“Compared to getting a Kryptonite bullet, Steps 6 on we were a cakewalk.
Panel 2
Mr. Nobody at gun range shooting
Mr. Nobody:
“Step 6: Get a gun. Practice enough that you can reliably hit a 4″ target at 15 feet. As an aside, sorry about the knee, I’m sure that’s gonna be a bitch to patch up. If it makes any difference, I was aiming for your thigh.”
Panel 3
Mr. Nobody on computer in library. Screen shows city map with dots all over.
Mr. Nobody:
“Step 7: Map out as many Superman appearances as you can to look for trends. Fun Superman Sighting Stats: 90% of the time you’re in Metropolis, that’s a given. But a solid 60% happen downtown, and 45% happen within two blocks of the Daily Planet building.”
Panel 4
Rooftop, Superman close, looking down and away.
Mr. Nobody:
“Additionally, most likely time to see you tends to be late afternoon between 5 pm and dusk. Sounds like someone’s got a day job.
What’s the matter there, Supes? Not getting enough in royalties from all those toys they sell and shirts I printed? You need to renegotiate your contract, bud.”
Panel 5
Metropolis, late afternoon, street level in front of Daily Planet building.
Mr. Nobody (Narrating):
“Anywho, Step 8: Get myself up on the roof of a nearby building when everyone’s getting off work.”
Panel 6
Low view, looking up at building across street from Daily Planet. Front of billboard on top now visible for first time, it shows silhouettes of JLA members in pose like JLA cartoon title screen with “Metropolis Thanks our Heroes” written across it. At ground level, Clark Kent is seen reaching for his glasses.
Mr. Nobody (Narrating):
“Step 9: Give you a reason to fly in. I think you know the rest.”
Mr. Nobody (shouting from roof):
“HELP! HELP! SUPERMAN! HELP ME! SOMEBODY SAVE ME! I CAN’T HOLD ON MUCH LONGER! SUPERMAN, HELP!”
Page 39
Panel 1
Rooftop, night, mid shot of both
Mr. Nobody:
“You swoop in. I pull a gun. You, predictable as anything, do that whole “stick-out-your-chest-because-bullets-just-bounce-off” shit you always do, and I reunite you with a piece of home. There you go. Easy-peasy.”
Panel 2
Superman, close.
Superman:
“Alright… You’ve definitely put forth a lot of effort to talk to me… I might as well hear what you have to say… You better hurry up. Keep monologuing much longer and I’m going to pass out before you say your peace…”
Panel 3
Mr. Nobody, close
Mr. Nobody:
“Ah, fuck! I have been monologuing, haven’t I? I guess that makes me a real super-villain after all, huh?”
Panel 4
Mr. Nobody kneels down to be eye-to-eye with Superman,
Mr. Nobody:
“Well, to the point then.”
Panel 5
Profile view, nobody grabs Superman by the hair, slamming his head back into the wall.
Page 40
Panel 1
Closeup of sick looking Superman, head held up by Mr. Nobody’s hand
Mr. Nobody (out of panel):
“Why did I do this? Why to *you*, my hero? Because you did the worst possible thing one person can do to another. And you did it to all of us.”
Panel 2
Mr. Nobody, close (Superman’s POV)
Mr. Nobody:
“You gave us hope. Hope that when bad things happen to good people, someone will save them. But no one does. No one ever comes to the rescue. Most of us never face monsters or alien warlords. For most of us, things just get a little bit worse every day until we die sick, alone, and impoverished. How cruel it is to promise hope in such a hopeless world.”
Panel 3
Wide top down same scene, plenty of negative space for text
Mr. Nobody:
“Don’t get me wrong, you’re great at the big flashy shit like fighting invasion fleets of laser-toting aliens, or stopping giant robots, or throwing cars at buses… But what about the single mom who has to decide between her prescriptions and food for her child? There’s been infinite money for war the last two decades, but every time public health care is brought up, it’s shot down by senators on the payroll of people like Lex Luthor and Bruce Wayne who don’t want to pay a few percent more in taxes on their offshore accounts. She gets blamed for not working hard enough, “she brought it on herself” they say. Nobody’s coming to save her.
And what do you say to grieving families and traumatized survivors? Not the victims of your kaiju-level stuff… The victims of mass shootings. The victims of hate crimes. The victims of systemic racism and police brutality? They get told “they should have complied”. The victims of sexual abuse? They get told “they shouldn’t have dressed like sluts.” Victims of racism, homophobia, misogyny, and every other hateful ideology? Does their grief stir our nation to action in preventing these tragedies? No! Each time, it’s a “horrible tragedy” that’s forgotten by the next news cycle because nobody give a shit unless it effects them personally.
All you ever do is say “I’m sorry for your loss” and fly away. That’s about as useless as “thoughts and prayers”…”
Panel 4
Mr. Nobody and Superman silhouetted against the backdrop of the Metropolis skyline
Mr. Nobody:
“Stopping mad scientists and giant mutant monsters and shit’s swell and all, but for most of us, that’s all just background noise happening way over our heads… Most of us are stuck down here dealing with the real villains.
Politicians voting against civil rights, gun control, and health care benefits are doing far more harm than any costumed criminals ever have.
Talking heads on cable news pandering to humanity’s basest instinct for ratings has caused far more damage to our society than killer robots ever could.
Extremist pastors preach that their congregants’ neighbors are immoral sinners destined for hell because they don’t follow rules written by patriarchal bronze age nomads.
Robber barons get rich exploiting labor while a philosophy of rugged individualism puts the blame for poverty at the feet of the oppressed.
We fight each other for scraps while billionaires burn down the planet. When we cry out for change, they laugh and buy another private rocket ship.”
Panel 5
Mr. Nobody (close)
Mr. Nobody:
“You claim to fight for truth, justice, and the American way… But for all of it’s history, the American way has been one of dishonesty and injustice. One of colonization and expansion. Our culture believes we have a manifest destiny to spread our own concept of democracy and capitalism across the world. One envisioned by and in service of a select class of rich white Christian men.
How many native bones lie beneath the streets of Metropolis? And how much slave blood was spilled laying those streets? The American way? The American way is to say “All men are created equal” when declaring our independence then write the three-fifths compromise into the constitution. The system you stand for… The system you represent and defend… It’s broken. It’s been broken for a long time, and instead of trying to fix it, you only distract us from the real monsters, which you’ve left free to roam unchecked, spreading their poison and devouring all in their path.”
Panel 6
Both, side view. Mr. Nobody is waving free hand in exasperation
Mr. Nobody:
“I mean, for fuck’s sake, you let fucking Lex Luthor get elected president! How the fuck do things get so bad that half the country thinks he’s a smart choice to run the country?!”
Panel 7
Superman, close
Superman:
“We had to respect the will of the people…”
Panel 8
Mr. Nobody, close, screaming
Mr. Nobody:
“HE DROVE A TANK THROUGH PROTESTERS FOR A PHOTO OP! HE BLACKMAILED THE QUEEN OF THEMYSCIRA! HE FUNDED AND DIRECTED A FUCKING A TERRORIST ATTACK ON THE CAPITOL WHEN HE LOST REELECTION! HE WAS IMPEACHED THREE TIMES AND GOT OFF SCOTT FREE BECAUSE HE HAD 51 VOTES IN THE SENATE!”
Page 41
Panel 1
Wider shot of roof.
Superman:
“What should I have done? Kill Luthor? That wouldn’t solve anything.
Mr. Nobody:
“No! And that’s the point! You’re supposed to be a bright and shining example of how people should treat each other! If you did what you should have been done ages ago and used your power and influence to guide them along a kinder path and teach them how to spot and avoid the monsters themselves, someone like Lex Luthor would never even have been considered a viable candidate! Instead, you served the status quo. You stood with the government and the police and helped knit together the concepts of legality and morality so tight that half the nation will watch a video of a cop murder an unarmed black man by kneeling on his neck for eight minutes and turn around with a straight face and say the black man deserved it!”
Panel 2
Low angle view of Mr. Nobody
Mr. Nobody:
“You didn’t pay enough attention. You may have Super-eyes, but you never saw that the real monsters were the people you served and the authoritarian ideals they stand for. You defend law and order… But the laws are written by criminals, being paid off by literal super-villains. Deep down you’re a terrified coward because you know if you step out of line and upset their order they’ll turn all their resources against you, eliminate you faster than Doomsday did, and make sure it’s permanent. You’re no better than a disposable henchman to them, and you don’t even realize it. At least my friend knew he was wearing a clown mask.”
Panel 3
Close view of back of Mr. Nobody. He reaches into his back pocket, pulling out a spoon and permanent marker.
Mr. Nobody:
“You let the world down. Maybe you saved a few lives here and there, but for someone with your power to never truly stand up for the most powerless in our society… You might as well have killed them all yourself. You could have been a light to lead the way, but you left the world to wander alone in the dark. Most are so blind to the suffering around them they refuse to even acknowledge the pain of others. You only ever saw the small picture.
You can see that people needed help, and you do what you can to alleviate the symptoms of the disease. It’s a very noble goal and the blind masses love you for it. I love you for it. But you never saw the causes or did anything to prevent the disease from spreading.”
Panel 4
View from behind Superman’s head. Mr. Nobody writes on his forehead with the marker.
Mr. Nobody:
“There’s an old expression… “In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.”
Panel 5
Same view, but Mr. Nobody is holding up a spoon.
Mr. Nobody:
“Well, your highness… Consider this your coronation.”
Panel 6
Skyline of metropolis, Night. Audio call out floating away from area of Daily Planet.
Superman:
“UuuUUAAAaaaAHHH! AAAHAHHAA! UGHUAAAAA! AAAAAAaaaa….”
Page 42
Panel 1
Same behind Superman view as before. Mr. Nobody still holds Superman’s hair with one hand, other hand not visible.
Mr. Nobody:
“Ah… That’s more fitting. I hope you remember what I’ve told you tonight, Supes…”
Panel 2
Same view, but other hand now holds up a bloody spoon and eyeball in front of his own eye.
Mr. Nobody:
“…Because I’ll be keeping an eye out for you!”
Panel 3
Closeup of superman’s face, filling remaining page. He looks broken, his left eye missing and blood pouring from the wound.
Across his forehead is written in big bold black letters “ONE-EYED KING OF THE BLIND”
Mr. Nobody (out of panel):
“Eh? Get it, eye out? It’s because I… Ah, nevermind. Joker would have thought it was funny.”
Page 43
Panel 1
Overhead, Superman now curled over in a fetal position. Mr. Nobody is turned away now, walking toward billboard with the other end of the rope tied to Superman’s leg
Mr. Nobody:
“But seriously, I will be watching you. And I’d advise against seeking me out for the sake or revenge, or “justice”, or whatever you want to call it… You’ll never find me, and if you get close, I’ll just disappear again.
Fight back and I might even take the opportunity to do some research on birth certificates and adoption records from Smallville and see if someone born around the time of that meteor shower might have ever moved into the city and, maybe, oh, I dunno, got a job at the newspaper or something.”
Panel 2
Mr. Nobody throwing rope over supports of billboard.
Mr. Nobody:
“Of course, I got other things I’d rather be doing, so if you don’t want me making that kind or research a priority you’re best bet is to never come looking for me. If you’re smart, and take my words to heart you’ll never see me again. I can promise you that. And unlike you I keep my promises.”
Panel 3
Overhead, Mr. Nobody walking back toward Superman with rope in hand.
Superman:
“Whu… wh… what promise… Urk… made to you…. …have I broken?
Mr. Nobody:
“Oh, there’s no specific law, or vow, or oath, or anything that you’ve personally shattered. But you’ve represented a promise your entire career: the promise of a better future. One where the bad guys always lose and the good guys always win. One where we could all be anything we wanted when we grew up if we only worked hard enough. You’re a carnival barker who promises fun and prizes, knowing full well the game has always been rigged against us from the start.
You’re the hollow words of a parent telling their child “everything will be alright”, when in all likelihood it’ll probably get worse. Your promise makes everything you do, every act of bravery, every life you save, completely meaningless to the 99% of people struggling with their own shit.”
Panel 4
Close profile with Superman on ground and Mr. Nobody squatting over him.
Mr. Nobody:
“But you can still make good on that promise. I left you alive because you still want to do good, and if you put your mind to it, you can use your power to fix this system… Or help those you leave behind replace it if necessary.”
Panel 5
Low shot behind Superman, Mr. Nobody pulling rope taut towards Supes. The rope is attached to the billboard through a pulley.
Mr. Nobody:
“This was a warning. You do good. Now do better. Or next time I’m drawing glasses on you and sending a finger to Martha Kent.”
Panel 6
Overhead, Mr. Nobody pulling on rope, Superman is yanked toward billboard.
Superman:
“aaa…. urghuuu… Urg…”
Panel 7
Same shot as above progressed, with Superman closer to billboard.
Page 44
Panel 1
Near roof edge, Superman’s tied leg is pulled up to ledge. Mr. Nobody is tying off the rope, securing it with enough slack to comfortably suspend Superman from the sign.
Mr. Nobody:
“Alright, that ought to do it.”
Panel 2
Above Superman, on his back, Mr. Nobody is sitting down beside him, holding a smartphone with the screen on.
Mr. Nobody:
“Now, let me take a few selfies… Not every day you meet your childhood hero.”
Panel 3
In front of building. Lois Lane is seen speaking to police officer, looking up at building with billboard, seeing lights flash on top.
Lois:
“…and I swear I heard a gunshot less than an hour ago, then the worst kind of screaming not long after that.”
Cop:
“Probably some kids partying a little too hard climbed up on the roof… We’ll check it out.”
Panel 4
Mr. Nobody and Superman laying on ground heads next to each other, bodies pointed away.
Mr. Nobody:
“This was a nice chat. It was lovely meeting you tonight.”
Panel 5
Mr. Nobody, sitting up.
Mr. Nobody:
“Oh, and one last bit…”
Panel 6
Mr. Nobody, setting up a phone camera on a barrel pointed toward Superman
Mr. Nobody:
“I got a voice changing filter on this app, so pretend my voice is about an octave lower when I do this… Oh, and uh, say Hi to Lois for me, alright?”
Page 45
Panel 1
Front of building with police and Lois, Mr. Nobody is visible in lobby through large glass doors, now in just a surgical mask and plain grey hoodie, partly open to reveal his Superman logo tee. walking away from an elevator. Cop is trying to open door.
Cop:
“It’s locked… Hey! Sir! Excuse me! Sir? *knock* *knock* Can you open this door?
Panel 2
Mid view, nobody opening door.
Mr. Nobody:
“Yeah, sure… What’s the problem officer?”
Cop:
“We’ve had reports of possible gunfire and fighting on the roof. You know anything about it?”
Panel 3
Mr. Nobody now outside, talking to Lois and cop going in.
Mr. Nobody:
“Oh, yeah, door to the roof is stuck open. Kids climb up there all the time. Stairwell’s over there; if you want to go have a word with them, that’d be great.”
Panel 4
Cop walking toward stairwell.
Cop:
“Thanks.”
Lois:
“Thank you, he’ll make sure they settle down.”
Mr. Nobody:
“Thanks… Oh, hey! Aren’t you’re that reporter… Um… April O’Neil? No wait, she’s on that other network…”
Panel 5
Lois & Mr. Nobody shaking hands.
Lois:
“Lois. Lois Lane, Daily Planet.”
Mr. Nobody:
“Oh, yeah, that’s right, that’s right… I read your Superman retrospective. Nice, solid reporting, very informative.”
Panel 6
Same shot, both look up as green light fills the sky with a bang.
Mr. Nobody:
“Aw, jeez… Those kids are shooting off fireworks now?”
Panel 7
Low view behind Lois. Visible above skyline is green question mark fireworks. Musical note call-out is coming from Lois’ purse.
Mr. Nobody (Off screen)
“Well, I gotta get to work. It was nice to meet you! You know, you’re only the third famous person I’ve ever met.”
Page 46
Panel 1
Side view of Lois looking up at fireworks, lit in green from above, music coming from purse. Mr. Nobody is not seen.
Panel 2
Same shot, no firework illumination, music coming from her purse. Lois is reaching in to find phone.
Lois:
“Sorry, I have to check this… Um… So, who were the other two?”
Panel 3
Same shot, Lois looking at phone.
Panel 4
Lois swiping up on her phone.
Lois:
“And, um, I’m sorry, but I didn’t catch your name, Mister…?”
Panel 5
Street wide view, nobody has Batman-ishly disappeared without a trace with Lois looking down the street to see it empty.
Panel 6
Inset – Lois looking down at her phone.
Panel 7
Inset – Closeup of Lois’ eyes, extremely shocked.
Panel 8
Inset – Lois looking up, still shocked, dropping phone.
Lois:
“Oh no…”
Page 47
Full page panel
Closeup of Lois’s phone, screen cracked on the ground, displaying an email
Display:
Recipients:
a_knox ＠ gothamglobe . news
april . oneil ＠ channel6ny . news
brant . e ＠ dailybugle . news
brockman ＠ spfld6 . news
brownm ＠ fyi . news
burgandy_r ＠ kvwn4 . news
corningstone_v ＠ kvwn4 . news
danversk ＠ catco . media
dsimmons ＠ quahog6 . news
gabriel . g ＠ dailyplanet . news
gilmorell ＠ starshollowgazette . news
herbwelch1920 ＠ aoi . freemail . web
jackryder ＠ gothamTVnow . news
jerusalems1 ＠ theword . news
kent . c ＠ dailyplanet . news
lane . l ＠ dailyplanet . news
lang . l ＠ dailyplanet . news
leeds . e ＠ dailybugle . news
mercer . t ＠ dailyplanet . news
olsen . j ＠ dailyplanet . news
parker . p ＠ dailybugle . news
raoulduke42069 ＠ acostaandpartners . law
rev_sir_dr_colbert ＠ tolkien . fanclub . usenet . knox . edu
jjj ＠ dailybugle . news
ringomanhammer ＠ lonegunman . usenet . dndfans . web
robertson . r ＠ dailybugle . news
rolandd ＠ metropolis8 . news
roycem1 ＠ theworld . news
sachs_a ＠ eliasclark . media
sagdiyev_bm ＠ gloriouskazakhTV . news . kz
scherbatsky . r . c ＠ metro1 . news
sullivan . c ＠ dailyplanet . news
tin_x2 ＠ reportpool . belgium . news . be
trinity . wells ＠ amnn . news
ttucker ＠ quahog6 . news
vernon . fenwick ＠ channel6ny . news
vicki_vale ＠ gothamgazzette . news
vicsage_a7a648ea651e6f473d5f9cf06f028204 ＠ bmail . beagle . search
wesmantooth ＠ sandiegoevening . news
white . p ＠ dailyplanet . news
—
Subject:
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Wake Up Call to the Masses
—
From:
nobody065b650ca141a75e269219469dfe51a4 ＠ bmail . beagle . search
—
Message Body:
I know you didn’t request this, but we’ve all been asleep too long. Open your eyes. It’s time to wake up.
—
Compressed File Attached: (3.5 MB)
Contains: DCIM_0001(1).mp4
Page 48
Panel 1
Lex Luthor’s Mansion, outside Metropolis – Morning
Modern bedroom with mountains visible outside. 5-ish AM. Lex Luthor snoring loudly, alone in bed, wearing orange t-shirt. Music is floating in from cracked door. Bed Spread is custom embroidered with gold “LL” monograms.
Music (from outside room):
“Well, I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind”
Panel 2
Overhead Lex Luthor in bed. On left side, face neutral. He is wearing a breathe-right strip, likely to help with sleep aepnea.
Music:
“I left my body lying somewhere in the sands of time”
Panel 3
Same view, Lex now on back, eyes closed, but brows furrowed, visibly agitated. Silk blanket covers any logos on shirt.
Music:
“But I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon”
Panel 4
Same view, Lex now eyes open and angry…
Music:
“I feel there’s nothing I can do, yeah”
Panel 5
Bedroom wider shot; Lex is throwing bed spread aside while jumping out of bed. He’s wearing Aquaman underoos: orange t-shirt with with scale and letter “A” print, and green briefs with yellow trim.
Music:
“I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon”
Panel 6
Hallway, Lex Luthor walking toward kitchen, now wearing slippers and a lush robe embroidered with “LL” monogram like bed. He is sniffing, smelling something good, and music gets louder (bigger)
Music:
“After all I knew, it had to be something to do with you”
Panel 7
Modern expensive kitchen, Mr. Nobody cooking at stove. Music is coming from cell phone docked in speaker base on counter. Lex is entering from side.
Music:
“I really don’t mind what happens now and then”
Lex:
“Maria! I thought I said no music before 7:00! Silencio! Comprende? Do you under…. Wha..!?”
Page 49
Panel 1
Kitchen, nobody happily making bacon and eggs. He’s wearing a chef jacket and hat, with a white surgical mask. Lex is stunned. Food and dishes are spread across counter. A few bottles of expensive-looking bottled water sit on the counter, one half empty.
Music:
“As long as you’ll be my friend at the end”
Mr. Nobody:
“Mornin’ buddy! Oh, hey, I think I might have printed that shirt!”
Panel 2
Wider view of both. Mr. Nobody points remote at speaker dock, with a beep, pausing the music.
Mr. Nobody:
“Don’t worry, I met Maria this morning. Lovely lady. So generous of you to give her a break and bring in a personal chef for the day. Paid her in cash for a double shift and told her I’d get the PTO paperwork sorted out for her later.
Panel 3
Lex, startled
Lex:
“Who do you think you…”
Panel 4
Lex, now relaxed.
Lex:
“Oh… It’s you. Didn’t know the janitor could cook. What are you making, chef?”
Panel 5
Top view of skillet, in pan is scrambled eggs and bacon, to the side are blue-ish tinted egg shells
Mr. Nobody (out of frame, except hand):
“I don’t know what you rich folks usually eat, but I just threw together some bacon and eggs. Had a busy night, wanted to get some protein in me.
Panel 6
Mr. Nobody, holding up blueish egg shells
Mr. Nobody:
“This must be some whole foods shit though, because it’s some fancy looking brand from the Spanish aisle I never heard of. You want some?”
Panel 7
Lex, unimpressed.
Lex:
“Those are organic free-range Araucana chicken eggs I had flown in from Chile. They cost $72 a dozen.”
Panel 8
Lex, angry
Lex:
“AND YOU’RE MAKING SCRAMBLED FUCKING EGGS WITH THEM?”
Page 50
Panel 1
Lex and Mr. Nobody in kitchen. Mr. Nobody pointing to pan with spatula, Lex has head in hand
Mr. Nobody:
“Uh, yeah. Want some? I could make it into an omelet if you want.”
Lex
“Ugh… No… Actually, yeah, sure. Why not. Make me some eggs.”
Panel 2
Above view, Lex steps toward walk-in pantry door beside a giant fridge and Mr. Nobody puts food from pan on one of two plates.
Lex:
“Better idea… I’m feeling breakfast burritos. I’ll grab some tortillas.”
Mr. Nobody:
“Aww, yeah, Didn’t even think of that. That sounds good, I’mma do that too. Got any shredded cheese?”
Lex:
“Should be some Mexican blend on the middle shelf in the fridge. Salsa too. Don’t worry, I’ll grab it.”
Mr. Nobody:
“Dope…”
Panel 3
Lex walking back toward fridge, bag of tortillas in hand, Mr. Nobody cracking more eggs in pan.
Lex:
“So do I need to guess how it went, or are you going to tell me?”
Mr. Nobody:
“First breakfast. Then business. I’ve been up all night and am Super hungry.
No pun intended, heh.”
Panel 4
POV, inside fridge looking at Lex leaning in. Lots of expensive brand name stuff and quality meat cuts.
Lex:
“Ok, I’ll guess. Seeing as you’re here and not dead or in jail, you didn’t fight Superman and lose. So one of two options. Either you shot at Superman and got away, or you chickened out.”
Panel 5
Lex returning to stove, shutting fridge with foot, carrying a bag of cheese in one hand and some salsa in the other Mr. Nobody scrambling more eggs.
Mr. Nobody:
“Got away *and* wasn’t chased to your house, or chickened out.”
Lex:
“Fair point.”
Mr. Nobody:
“What odds do you give me?”
Panel 6
Mid shot of Lex setting food down on counter.
Lex:
“Normally I’d say you chickened out. However, you did get *me* alone on the toilet, so who knows. I’d say 50/50.”
Mr. Nobody:
“Best odds I’ve ever been given. Here, I’ll take care of this, why don’t you grab a drink and go sit down in the living room. Flip on the TV… Maybe check the news before you go to work, see if anything big happened overnight.”
Panel 7
Lex walking toward living room holding bottled waters, glancing backward suspiciously at Mr. Nobody in the background cooking.
Lex
Alright… sure…
Page 51
Panel 1
Inset over panel 2 – Lex’s hand pressing button on remote with a click.
Panel 2
Large top half panel – 3/4 overhead behind view of Lex standing in front of couch looking at tv, dropping the remote as he sees what’s on the screen.
Big screen tv in front of Lex displays Metropolis News 8 talking head David Rowland reporting with news chyron on bottom 1/4 reading “BREAKING NEWS: SUPERMAN CRIPPLED BY MYSTERY GUNMAN” with a screengrab of Mr. Nobody on video in top right corner
Rowland:
“…and despite initial rumors of the Edward “the Riddler” Nigma’s involvement, officials from Arkham Asylum has reported that Nigma was securely in custody at the time of the attack. Police are are baffled, with no leads outside of this heavily altered video sent to reporters. Be warned, this video contains graphic content and may not be suitable for sensitive audiences.”
Panel 3
Panels 3-5 read as a horizontal strip
First, close shot at Lex’s waist level
Panel 4
Same angle, with Lex collapsed on the couch, stunned.
Panel 5
Lex, on couch, smiling. Text from TV narration plays across all three.
Mr. Nobody (Heavily distorted):
“They say nobody can kill Superman…
Panel 6
TV screen, Nobody talking directly to camera:
Mr. Nobody:
“They were right.”
Panel 7
TV – Mr. Nobody on camera Picks superman up over his shoulder
Panel 8
Closeup crop of TV screen, Mr. Nobody throws Superman over building ledge
Panel 9
Rope goes taught and Superman screams from below
Superman:
“Aaaah-ugh!”
Page 52
Panel 1
Full TV – Mr. Nobody, talking to camera again.
Mr. Nobody:
“Hi. I’m Nobody. Consider this a wake up call. Stop waiting on someone to save you. It’s time to start saving yourself.”
Panel 2
TV, filling frame, with Lex lounging in front, arms over the back.
Tv screen shows Superman, hanging limp by his bloody leg, dangling from the “Metropolis thanks it’s heroes” billboard. He is illuminated by spotlights from the street, and clearly visible on building behind Superman is graffiti spray painted “NEVER MEET YOUR HEROES”
Rowland:
“This was the scene late last night downtown. The attack happened near the offices of the Daily Planet newspaper, and reporters from the Planet were first on the scene before emergency personnel arrived.”
Panel 3
Lex Luthor, relaxed on couch, smiling at tv. Mr. Nobody in background is pulling something out of the freezer.
Police (VO)
“We were called to the to investigate a noise disturbance, but what we found was just… Words can’t describe it. Haven’t seen the big guy this bad since ’93… We’re still investigating, but all I can say right It looks like someone really wanted to hurt Superman, and was very successful in their mission.”
Panel 4
Closeup of Superman on gurney being loaded into ambulance. Text on forehead is clearly visible.
Doctor (VO)
“It’s fortunate we got to him when we did. Superman has dealt with kryptonite exposure before, so we had some basis to start from treatment-wise. He’s in stable condition now, but his patella was completely shattered and his left eye was completely severed at the optic nerve. Regardless of how much powers he may have, its going to be a long recovery and he’ll be dealing with the effects of this for the rest of his life.”
Panel 5
Closeup of Lex’s hand, clicking remote multiple times.
Panel 6
TV – Gotham News reporting on same story
Panel 7
TV – Central City News reporting on same story
Panel 8
TV – Coast City News, same story
Panel 9
TV – Star City News, same story
Page 53
Panel 1
Overhead of living room, Mr. Nobody entering with two plates of breakfast burritos.
Lex:
“My god… It’s on every channel! This is…”
Mr. Nobody:
“Awesome?”
Lex:
“Awesome doesn’t even begin to describe it!”
Panel 2
Lex Closeup, smiling
Lex:
“This is… This is epic. People throw that word around too much in our modern age, but this is the stuff of Greek myths, my friend. A titan has been felled this night. I am truly impressed. Your name is bound to be remembered by history for this stunt.”
Mr. Nobody:
“Aw, thanks, man. That means a lot coming from someone in your position.”
Panel 3
Mr. Nobody reaching in pocket.
Mr. Nobody:
“Oh, right, your payment for the Vitamin K.”
Lex:
“Seeing the Man of Steel taken down a peg is almost payment enough!”
Panel 4
Closeup of Mr. Nobody’s hand holding box that kryptonite bullet came in earlier
Mr. Nobody:
“Oh, I don’t want to owe you a favor; I’ve got you a nice surprise.”
Panel 5
Low view behind box, open in Lex’s hands. Lex is smiling wide.
Mr. Nobody:
“Had to think a bit about what to get you. I mean… What do you get the man who’s already bought everything? Then I remembered that time you broke into a museum just to get one strand of Superman’s hair.”
Panel 6
Lex POV View of box interior, inside is a smartphone and Superman’s eyeball.
Mr. Nobody:
“You think a sample of Kryptonian DNA might be worth something to your biotech R&D labs?”
Page 54
Panel 1
Both Lex & Mr. Nobody together
Mr. Nobody:
“Aw, shit, sorry, did I ruin your appetite?”
Lex:
“Oh, no, no… This is the best gift I’ve gotten in a long time. But… What’s this phone?”
Panel 2
Mr. Nobody, lifting up mask to take bite of burrito.
Mr. Nobody:
“Just a burner phone I picked up. Don’t worry, I took the sim card out. Couple photos in the gallery you might like. Mmm… This are some damn good eggs, my guy.”
Panel 3
Lex smiling looking at phone, smiling, swiping left
Panel 4
Lex, looking at phone, shocked.
Panel 5
Closeup of phone. Pic of Mr. Nobody next to Superman, holding LexCorp branded box that the Kryptonite bullet was packaged in, as well as a bloody spoon and napkin, both emblazoned with the logo for LexGrille. Napkin has written in sharpie on in “Hey Mr. Luthor! Got him for you, boss! Here’s proof as requested!”
Panel 6
Lex looking at Mr. Nobody, shocked.
Panel 7
Lex looking over to Mr. Nobody
Lex:
“Is this blackmail?”
Mr. Nobody:
“Nah, just insurance. Can’t have you getting rid of me once you no longer find me useful.”
Page 55
Panel 1
Wide view of room. TV is still playing, but is quieter.
Lex:
“What do you want? Money?”
Panel 2
Mr. Nobody continues to eat burrito.
Mr. Nobody:
“Money? Pfft, who needs it… Honestly after the experience and exposure this project provided me, I can probably get by on freelance work now if I wanted…”
Panel 3
Mid view, both
Mr. Nobody:
“But as I mentioned, I am between employers at the moment. Freelance work can be kinda spotty at times, you know. It’d be nice to have that reliable six figures and a dental plan. Got a lot of experience in custom apparel and brand management, if you have an opening in marketing.”
Lex:
“Hmm…”
Panel 4
Lex, close.
Lex:
“I don’t own any screen printing shops.”
Panel 5
Mr. Nobody, mid, holding half-eaten burrito.
Mr. Nobody:
“What about general business management consulting? I’d be happy to give your security department a few pointers. They need ’em… I could make sure someone like me who’s maybe a bit less polite doesn’t sneak up on you like I did.”
Panel 6
Mid shot both
Lex:
“Now that I think about it, I might have a few needs in my organization for which your skillset is a good fit. Why don’t you come in tomorrow and we’ll meet with HR?”
Mr. Nobody:
“Too busy today?”
Panel 7
Lex reaching into pocket of robe, pulling out his own different cellphone
Lex:
“No, the opposite.”
Page 56
Panel 1
Lex talking on phone.
Lex:
“Hey, Karen, this is Lex. I need you to clear my schedule for the day. Yes, I’ve seen the news. No, I don’t want an emergency meeting with the board, I’m sure they can wait until tomorrow. Yes. No, I’m just taking a personal day.”
Panel 2
Mr. Nobody looking over at Lex
Lex (out of frame):
“No, just push that meeting back to Thursday. Thank you. No, I’ll explain it all tomorrow. Yes. Oh, and send over a car, I think I’d like to go shopping later. Thanks, Karen. See you tomorrow.”
Panel 3
Close-up of Lex hand pressing “end call” button.
Panel 4
Mid shot, both.
Mr. Nobody:
“Retail therapy?”
Lex:
“Public relations investment. If you’re going to work at LexCorp, you’ll need a new suit.”
Panel 5
Lex Close, taking bite of burrito
Panel 6
Lex, chewing.
Lex:
“Mmmm… Damn, I should hire you as chef, this *is* good!
Panel 7
Overhead
Mr. Nobody:
“Glad you like it, but I think food service would underutilize my talents. If you’re open to suggestions, I hear the fine art world is a great place to launder money. I’ve been known to dabble in painting… Could use a patron.”
Lex:
“Mmm… Noted. Bring your portfolio when you come tomorrow and I’ll look it over.”
Page 57
Panel 1
Exterior establishing shot: Broome Lake AFB, near Metropolis – Infirmary, day. Subtitle: “Some time later…”
Doctor (VO):
“…but keep in mind it’s still a delicate situation.”
Panel 2
Hallway, Batman walks next to military doctor.
Batman:
“What’s his condition?”
Doctor:
“Tough to say. “Physically, He’s stable and safe to move. Mentally? That’s another question.”
Panel 3
Hallway, Side view of walking Doctor and Batman
Doctor:
“We removed the bullet and performed emergency surgery to replace the joint. Thanks to coordination between the JLA and Wayne Tech’s rapid prototyping labs, we were able to fabricate a total knee replacement from promethium alloyed with titanium and vanadium. It won’t be as indestructible as his natural bone, but it’s the strongest substance we could possibly use.
Unfortunately, his eye is a loss. We cleaned it up, and I’ve scheduled him for a consultation with a colleague at S.T.A.R. Labs who specializes in cybernetics to see if there’s anything he can do… However, I’m afraid he won’t be watching movies in 3D any time soon.”
Panel 4
Batman, close.
Batman:
“Yes, I’m aware… I read your report. What about his mental state?”
Doctor:
“I’m not a mental health specialist, but it’s clear that he’s been traumatized.”
Panel 5
Wider view of hallway, another angle.
Doctor:
“It’s going to take time for him to process the whole situation. I can provide references for therapists in Metropolis who work with our PTSD patients…”
Panel 6
Batman and Doctor approaching hospital room flanked by two military guards.
Batman:
“Send them to Hall of Justice. I’ll see to it personally that he receives the best possible care.”
Page 58
Panel 1
Close up, behind Batman in doorway of Superman’s room. Superman is seen in a wheelchair looking out window.
Batman:
“Ready to go?”
Panel 2
Close up front view of Superman from front. He seated in the wheelchair, wearing an eye patch and blue sweatshirt. His expression is vacant. Several bouquets and balloons are around room.
Panel 3
Side view across room, both heroes visible.
Superman:
“…Yeah. Let’s go.”
Panel 4
Panels 4-8 are all panels full width, evenly divided. Main characters aligned along diagonal across panels, moving left to right as they progress
Military Hospital hallway
Batman pushes Superman in wheelchair. Superman’s head hangs low.
Panel 5
Hospital front desk attended by soldiers and nurses.
Batman signs papers while superman sits in wheelchair.
Panel 6
Hospital exit, soldiers saluting as Batman pushes Superman through doors
Panel 7
Parking lot, Batman pushes Superman toward Batmobile
Panel 8
Road, Batman drives Batmobile with Superman in passenger seat.
Page 59
Panel 1
Batmobile drives along country road. Trees and fields on roadside.
Batman (VO):
“Clark… Do you want to talk about it?”
Panel 2
View from passenger side, Superman looking out window.
Panel 3
Closeup of Superman
Superman:
“…Not really. I just want to go home…”
Panel 4
Batmobile driving through scenery again
Panel 5
Front windshield view of both.
Superman:
“Bruce…”
Panel 6
Same view
Batman:
“Yeah?”
Panel 7
Batmobile driving off into distance
Superman (VO):
“How many homeless people do you think you drive by each day?”
Page 60
Panel 1
Joker’s hideout, day, some time later. Joker sits at a desk throwing darts at a dart board with Batman’s picture taped on.
Panel 2
Joker mid view, celebrating his successful throw. Henchman approaches from behind.
Henchman:
“Hey, boss…”
Panel 3
Closeup of desk in front of Joker as Henchman places box on desk
Henchman:
“…courier dropped this off for you.”
Joker:
“Eh? Oh! I do hope this is the industrial hand buzzers I ordered…”
Panel 4
Side view Joker opening box, smiling.
Panel 5
Spring-loaded pie pops out of box, hitting Joker in the face.
Panel 6
Joker, Grumpy, covered in pie
Panel 7
Joker, looking down into box.
Joker:
“Eh?”
Panel 8
Closeup of Joker’s hand holding business card.
Card reads:
“Nobody can kill Superman.
Imagine what he can do for you.
Mr. Nobody ~ Extralegal Business Consulting
When Nobody can help, He’ll be there.”
[END]
Back Cover
Panels 1-3 are evenly spaced across top 1/4 of page
Panel 1
Closeup phone on desk.
“Elsewhere…”
Panel 2
Same shot, phone screen lights up, musical note emerges
Panel 3
Same shot, unidentified male hand grabs phone.
Panel 4
Fill bottom 3/4 page. Closeup of phone in hand.
Detail:
[Picture Message]
From: nobody065b650ca141a75e269219469dfe51a4 ＠ bmail . beagle . search
To: connerkent1985 ＠ bmail . beagle . search
Image:
Meme with comic book graphics, bold text reading “Your Superhero Name is the Color of your Underwear + Your High School Mascot”
~ To be continued in “Titans” ~